Townsville Twist

Sunday, 22 October 2006

This is the Vegemite that never ends...

Over the last Octoberish uni break I went to Hook Island and enjoyed a week of camping on coral rubble, getting drunk, diving and getting even more drunk. At the end of the week I'd used maybe less than a teaspoon of the jar of Vegemite I bought for the trip.

I have no use for Vegemite. I eat it in such small quantities it barely registers on my tastebuds - that's the only way I like it. Now I have a whole jar of the stuff lying around and I'm going to use it, damnit. Presenting my Top Ten Things To Do With Unwanted Vegemite!

#1 - Spread it on thickly and give it to an American, telling them that this is how Aussies eat it. I didn't have a Yank handy so I had to go without a photo.

#2 - Gross out my bathroomate

#3 - Finger Painting!

It's a horse. Vegemite really helps bring out the muscle definition, huh? If anyone wants this, it's in my fridge. I'd put it on my fridge but the ants would probably eat certain parts and turn it into a cock or something for a laugh.

#4 - Seeing what I'd look look like as a dude

Pretty hot I reckon. Millions of people from either sex are missing out!

#5 - Ye Ole Doorknob Tricke

#6 - Smear it all over someone's scuba regulator mouthpiece. Um... yeah... I was supposed to do it to mine for a photo but my reg's locked away and I just found out I've lost the key. Crap.

#7 - Use it to deface the empty SOULESS completely unlikable characters of Final Fantasy XII

The gameplay 0wns... I only wish they'd spent some time thinking up a less retarded story and working on character development.

#8 - Face paint

Holy shit I make an awesome black chick. I'm gonna go hang with my bro's and ho's. When I washed it out, it got in my eyes and stung like nothing else, so maybe face paint isn't such a good idea.

#9 - Stinking out the microwave

Wow, I'd never done that before, it totally exploded! Awesome! Unfortunately it stank out the entire building, not just the microwave. I'm gagging on the stench right now.

#10 - I suppose you could eat it...

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