"Friends Don't Let Friends Use Excel For Statistics"

A few days ago a friend and I were bored as hell and decided to crack out the paint and brushes. She was slightly drunk and I was slightly high since I'd only just driven a manual for the very first time. With our powers combined, we created a piece that was... interesting. Ever seen a painting that, depending on how you looked at it, could be deeply artistic or completely awful? Ours was like that, except we were quite considering the latter possibility to be the more correct one. In any case, let me present "Friends Don't Let Friends Use Excel For Statistics".

About that interpretation? Well, the title comes from a recent statistics lecture, and we called it that before we made our analysis of our beautiful painting. What we came up with is that the big eye in the middle belongs to someone who let his or her friends use Excel for stats and is now crying blood because they caught fire. The friends are the two blue stick people on the lower left. Artistic, no?

Anyway, at about 3am that night, I decided that it would be a really funny idea to send it to our lecturer. Here's how the email went:

"Hi Simon,
A friend and I are in BS2001, which I have to tell you is a lot less scary than I originally thought it would be. Of course, in saying that, it's mostly been cruisy so far, and you'll no doubt be getting a whole lot of crazed emails from us later.
You seem like a pretty easy going dude, so I thought I'd share something with you that happened over the weekend. A friend and I had a few drinks and got bored, so I cracked out the paint and brushes and together we painted this rather pretty sort of abstract piece. We called it "Friends Don't Let Friends Use Excel For Statistics" (sound familiar?). From that, we figured that it was a big eye crying because its owner let two friends use Excel for statistics and they exploded or something - they're the two bluish stick dudes on the bottom left. Doesn't make much sense to me now, but hey, you can't argue with drunken logic.
Just hoping this made you smile, at least now you know that we listen in lectures.
Keep it real, Emily and her accomplice Caitlin, now hoping for HDs for our outstanding effort."

Yeah. I haven't got a reply.

This is the Vegemite that never ends...

Over the last Octoberish uni break I went to Hook Island and enjoyed a week of camping on coral rubble, getting drunk, diving and getting even more drunk. At the end of the week I'd used maybe less than a teaspoon of the jar of Vegemite I bought for the trip.

I have no use for Vegemite. I eat it in such small quantities it barely registers on my tastebuds - that's the only way I like it. Now I have a whole jar of the stuff lying around and I'm going to use it, damnit. Presenting my Top Ten Things To Do With Unwanted Vegemite!

#1 - Spread it on thickly and give it to an American, telling them that this is how Aussies eat it. I didn't have a Yank handy so I had to go without a photo.

#2 - Gross out my bathroomate

#3 - Finger Painting!

It's a horse. Vegemite really helps bring out the muscle definition, huh? If anyone wants this, it's in my fridge. I'd put it on my fridge but the ants would probably eat certain parts and turn it into a cock or something for a laugh.

#4 - Seeing what I'd look look like as a dude

Pretty hot I reckon. Millions of people from either sex are missing out!

#5 - Ye Ole Doorknob Tricke

#6 - Smear it all over someone's scuba regulator mouthpiece. Um... yeah... I was supposed to do it to mine for a photo but my reg's locked away and I just found out I've lost the key. Crap.

#7 - Use it to deface the empty SOULESS completely unlikable characters of Final Fantasy XII

The gameplay 0wns... I only wish they'd spent some time thinking up a less retarded story and working on character development.

#8 - Face paint

Holy shit I make an awesome black chick. I'm gonna go hang with my bro's and ho's. When I washed it out, it got in my eyes and stung like nothing else, so maybe face paint isn't such a good idea.

#9 - Stinking out the microwave

Wow, I'd never done that before, it totally exploded! Awesome! Unfortunately it stank out the entire building, not just the microwave. I'm gagging on the stench right now.

#10 - I suppose you could eat it...